Wednesday, April 18, 2007

How Ya Like Me Now?

It's time for "How Ya Like Me Now?", the quiz program that Yankee fans around the world have come to know and love. Tonight we have three mystery guests for your reading pleasure. Mystery guests, please say hello to the COH readers:

"H'lo"

"Hi."

"Konnichiwa."

Stumped are you? Well your not alone. Let's play the game. Our first mystery guest threw 6 shutout innings allowing only 2 hits and no walks against 10 strikeouts against the AAA club from Syracuse on Wednesday. Recently, people have called him "not ready" for the Big Leagues, and the Yankees manager even noted that he will not be joining the Yankees anytime soon, despite some unfortunate injury problems early on. The young man in question is considered the premier pitching prospect in all of baseball. Can you guess who he is? If you said, "Homer Bailey" you'd be.....wrong. The anwser is......Phil "dont call me Philip" Hughes. (Partial credit given for 'Tim Lincecum' considering his inhuman start to the year in the minors.)

Moving along, guest number two has been called a purple-lipped choker by some neolithic types over in Red Sox Nation. He was once caught slapping the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's glove and mocked severely in a series of doctored photographs featuring the player with a purse on his arm. Still having difficulty placing him? This player has been chastised by drunkards and pea brains for his lack of clutchitosity, while winning the 2005 AL MVP and opening this season with 9 home runs and 23 RBIs in only 13 games. What? David Ortiz you say? Uh...no. He was close in 2005, but he doesn't own a glove. We're talking about Alex Emmanuel Rodriguez. Thanks for playing.

Our last guest was brought to the Yankees from a far away place with magical unicorns, beautiful maidens, rotten soy bean breakfasts, and wooden eating utensils. (Except for the unicorns.) He loves to play games of all sorts and often says bizarre tangential things that leave his audience chuckling and confused. This guest just pitched 6 solid innings of 2 run baseball against the Cleveland Indians, and continues to improve on questionable control that saw him give up 7 runs in his first go round the rotation. His oddball behavior is often attributed to his O blood type by his fellow countrymen, although no hard evidence has ever conclusively made a connection between blood type and personality. Any guesses? Ajackassayswhat? Just kidding. It's Kei (pronounced Kay) Igawa of Ibaraki Prefecture, Japan.

There you have this week's "How Ya Like Me Now?" panel of guests. Each will receive a special gift of one way tickets to a division title, and the "How Ya Like Me Now?" home game. (Mike Plugh's wardrobe provided by Modell's Sporting Goods and Victoria's Secret) (Except for Modell's).

5 comments:

OldYanksFan said...

Very clever Mike.
I've been saying it since late 2005, when I first strated thinking about it.

It we lose ARod, it will be the greatest historic gaff, second only to the Sox trading the Babe.

mehmattski said...

FWIW, one of "those people" was you, after Hughes previous start. But I'm just bustin ya. Hopefully Hughes is as brilliant in his next two starts for SWB and the Yanks will have no choice but to plug him in the rotation in mid-May.

mehmattski said...

PS: Great article on BP today, Mike. I really enjoyed the bit about Derek Lee's father and uncle.

Are foreign players still given the kind of derision that they found back in those days? Stuck in the PC world of American sports, I was shocked by the amount of racism that is present in European football. Is that the case in Japan, still? Or is more like a Tom Selleck/Mr Baseball kind of situation now?

ChrisV82 said...

I'm always surprised how many people call him "Key." I guess they never watched Super Dimension Century Orguss.

On the other hand, some people still call Cano "Canew," and Jeter needs to learn that it's "Wong," not "Wahng."

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